Sunday, April 21, 2019

“Don’t abdicate to a phantom.” – Arnold Kunst

From “The Human Condition: A User’s Manual” by Arnold Kunst
21 April
You and I, all of us, have had this experience: you suffer from low self confidence because there’s an ogre inside that says, more often than you might care to admit, "you wet your pants in kindergarten, and don’t you EVER forget it!"
Countering that ogre clearly is a multi-faceted process probably lasting a lifetime, but surely for you as for me that process includes the help of a mentor, someone close to you who NOTICED, someone who said/did the exact right thing to get you to take those first few halting, stammering, fear-filled steps toward something like a goal, and before you knew it you extended beyond your comfort zone[s] and did what, once, you were convinced was impossible. Maybe the only thing that mentor did to stoke the fire of your self esteem was simply to make you feel welcome. Maybe all [s]he did was say, “How are you?” and meant it. But whatever [s]he did, your self-confidence shot up exponentially. With that subtle help you went from "I could never do that" to "If he can do that so can I" and finally to "if I did that then I can do this now." And almost without your noticing it, you stopped being such a welter of shyness and defeatism anymore – you stopped pandering to ogres!

[By the way, remember to pay it forward. Now it’s your job to NOTICE, to be the mentor to someone who dutifully, unconsciously, 24/7, just like you, ever panders to ogres.]


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