27 July
From”The Human Condition: A User’s Manual,” by Arnold Kunst
You probably aren’t aware of it at the outset, but being a
parent is a marathon, not a sprint. Instead, as a brand new parent you’re run
off your feet, confronted with the sobering realization that the
Mommys-And-Daddies School is right next door to the Walking Academy on the
campus of the College of Hard Knocks. Keep your head, though: in those first
few days the perimeters are fairly limited. After all, when the child cries
there are only a few options –diaper? wind? cuddle? bottle? - that need
attention to re-attain tranquility [if that’s the word I’m looking for].
As the child gets older the options for attaining that same
tranquility increase, but so does your ability to tailor just the right
solution. So when, for example, she’s got a boy friend prolem at 13, a trip to
the ice cream store won’t cut it, and you’ll figure out what will. And when she
virtually disappears from your radar screen during those long teenage years –
and that’s going to happen as surely as you disappeared from YOUR parents’
radar at that age – you’ve got to tough it out and love them as best you can.
And when those terrible years of emotional eclipse are finally over, the reward
[for them if not for you] is the rock-solid conviction you’ve imported to them
that they are LOVED, and their sense of self is utterly assured.
Then you can look back on all those years and say,
contentedly, “wasn’t that fun!”
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