Thursday, December 7, 2017

“Kittens are angels with whiskers.” - Anonymous

From “The Human Condition: A User’s Manual,” by Arnold Kunst
7 December
Little Johnny Stories V
Who’s more capricious - little Johnny or little Fluffy? One day, for reasons known only to the gods and in complete contradiction to everything Charles Darwin ever imagined, Fluffy jumps up onto Johnny’s lap. The reason this is remarkable is that Johnny has been persecuting Fluffy mercilessly for the entirety of that kitten’s short life – turning Fluffy into a living pretzel, pulling great gobs of fur from its tummy, tugging at a tail that can only be described as provocative. In any universe that proports to honor justice, that kitten should know better, and why it doesn’t, why it can’t read its own experience, is one of the great mysteries of the universe. Johnny, of course, is flattered that, in jumping onto his lap, Fluffy has finally Seen The Light. But, as kittens are want to do, especially since Johnny is back to his usual antics, Fluffy makes to leave Johnny’s lap.
It’s Johnny’s introduction to the following concept: “easy come, easy go.” And when Johnny gets a hint of Fluffy’s intentions, he angrily grabs at the last part to leave: that ever-provocative tail. And the harder Fluffy goes in the one direction the harder Johnny pulls in the other. Within a nano-second Fluffy does what any self-respecting feline would do in a similar satiation: go for a little traction, and, well, you get the picture. Johnny’s pride is hurt even more than his legs. The moral of the story: the good that comes without your bidding can as easily leave without you approval. Hopefully, Johnny will have grown up when he blesses all the Fluffies of his life as and when they want to jump off his lap…

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