From “The Human Condition: A User’s Manual,”
by Arnold Kunst
7 December
Little Johnny Stories V
Who’s more capricious - little Johnny or little Fluffy? One day, for
reasons known only to the gods and in complete contradiction to everything
Charles Darwin ever imagined, Fluffy jumps up onto Johnny’s lap. The reason
this is remarkable is that Johnny has been persecuting Fluffy mercilessly for
the entirety of that kitten’s short life – turning Fluffy into a living
pretzel, pulling great gobs of fur from its tummy, tugging at a tail that can
only be described as provocative. In any universe that proports to honor
justice, that kitten should know better, and why it doesn’t, why it can’t read
its own experience, is one of the great mysteries of the universe. Johnny, of
course, is flattered that, in jumping onto his lap, Fluffy has finally Seen The Light. But, as kittens are want
to do, especially since Johnny is back to his usual antics, Fluffy makes to
leave Johnny’s lap.
It’s Johnny’s introduction to the following concept: “easy come, easy
go.” And when Johnny gets a hint of Fluffy’s intentions, he angrily grabs at
the last part to leave: that ever-provocative tail. And the harder Fluffy goes
in the one direction the harder Johnny pulls in the other. Within a nano-second
Fluffy does what any self-respecting feline would do in a similar satiation: go
for a little traction, and, well, you get the picture. Johnny’s pride is hurt
even more than his legs. The moral of the story: the good that comes without
your bidding can as easily leave without you approval. Hopefully, Johnny will
have grown up when he blesses all the Fluffies of his life as and when they
want to jump off his lap…
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