From “The Human Condition: A User’s Manual” by Arnold Kunst
Like you, the last lesson I must learn in life is how to dispose of recrimination. All things being equal, the need for self-forgiveness will be the greatest just before death because at that time I'll have a whole lifetime's screw-ups on the scorecard. Put it this way: God longs with a yearning that transcends space and time that I accept His prodigal forgiveness. And that simply cant happen unless/until I offer/accept my own forgiveness. The only ones who complete the trip to heaven successfully are the ones who travel light. And that means jettisoning the garbage of recrimination that heaven would find utterly intolerable.