From “The Human Condition: A User’s Manual,” by Arnold Kunst
23 May
Whenever I am ratty with you - maybe I had a hard day day at
work, or maybe I didn't get enough sleep last night, or maybe I'm feeling
guilty about something and I'm reverting to some reptilian version of "the
best defense is an offense" - whatever the reason, I end up needling you
in some way. The point is, it needn't have anything to do with you at all
because whenever I pass judgment on you it is ALWAYS about me and NEVER about
you. Or, to put it a little differently, whenever I give in to the seductive
allure of self pity - and nothing is more seductive than self-pity, is there? -
I surrender the right to touch you where you really are, to say anything
about/to you with any genuine authority.
But the damage doesn't stop there - I automatically activate
in you very powerful memories of the time you wet your pants in kindergarden.
It goes like this: "See, I knew I couldn't make him happy; I screw up
everything I touch. I'm always a nickel short and an hour late." And on
and on you go, into the wee hours of the night.
The good news is, I have the power to move you every bit as
profoundly when I reach through all the everlasting ordinariness of life and
touch you where you really live, when I affirm you, when I praise you, when I
thank you. I think I'm getting the idea Jesus had when he talked about
millstones being wrapped around a person's neck and having him drowned in the
sea. Sometimes Scripture can be dense and difficult to understand, but not when
it talks about, well, being ratty to someone we're put here to love!
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