From
“The Human Condition: A User’s Manual,” by Arnold Kunst
29
September
We
all learn some lessons in life the hard way, and while stationed in Germany
with the US Army I learned the value of reading carefully a document before I
signed it.
I
was proud of the fact that I had earned a driver’s license in basic training.
Every now and then I’d get assigned to drive for the day - it had a way of
getting me out of the boring but familiar and into the somewhat distant and
more or less exciting/exotic. Anyway, on this particular day I was assigned to
transport the equivalent of The Diplomatic Pouch from our company to battalion
headquarters 40 miles away.
Now,
you need to know that we were an ordinance company. That is, we dealt with the
care and feeding of weaponry. But in our case we were what was euphemistically
called a “special weapons” company. That’s Army-speak for nuclear weapons. That
is, our company was made up of two types of 18-wheel trucks: the one
transported the nuclear weapon itself, the other the rocket. If/when the
balloon went up we were to transport our payloads to some secret undisclosed
location in the German countryside where we would liaise with the artillery
guys who put the rockets together with the payloads – and then, on the
President’s order, those artillery guys would execute the presidential Push Of
The Button.
Anyway,
as you can imagine, transporting that particular pouch was a big deal because
the contents of that pouch did NOT want to fall into the hands of the wrong
people. When I got that pouch I signed for it. Although I didn’t realize the
import of that fact I was now part of a paper trail.
And,
you guessed it, that paper trail needed more careful attention than I gave it
that day. Like, my signature meant I had taken personal responsibility by
signing for that damned pouch when I got it, but I was far more intent on
getting to the snack bar at the other end than getting that same paper-work
signed for when I dropped it off. Mind you, when I got to battalion
headquarters I did in fact leave it with the right people, but, as you can
readily see, that’s not quite the same thing.
I
found out all about it three days later when I was called into my company
commander’s office: my signature was the last one on record, and what did I do
with The Pouch?
I
eventually got off the hook, but it took three LOOOONG weeks.
Now
I know: when you’re on the hook, it’s best to pay very close attention to
paper-trails.